After spending a quarter of my life, and almost a decade, in the Bay Area I’m headed home. I’m not going to lie, it feels weird typing this sentence out even though I always knew I would move back it at some point. I think a lot of that comes from the climate we’ve been dealing with during 2020. COVID especially makes this one feel strange because instead of doing the normal goodbye get together where you invite 300 people and 20 of your closest friends show up, I’m just kind of…leaving. For an area that I never considered growing up and coming out of college, I have to say the Bay Area is really an awesome place to live, spend time, and create relationships. I moved out here unsure of what to expect and thinking I’d be on the West Coast for one, maybe two years, tops and then I would go back to Virginia. Time flies and plans change when you’re having fun.

Looking back to when I moved out here I had a few things on my mind that I never really told anyone. First, I felt like I needed to move somewhere and to experience a place outside of Virginia. Prior to moving out to San Francisco, my biggest “move” was going down to Norfolk to attend ODU. I didn’t have the out of state college experience and the “I’m far from home and can’t make it back in a 3-6 hour drive” experience. Coming out of Potomac I wasn’t looking to go far, or go somewhere that I didn’t know people because I just did that at the start of high school. In some way I had proven to myself I can go into a new social environment, make friends, and survive. Coming out of ODU though, I realized having an opportunity to stretch myself and be uncomfortable might not come up too often. Gameloft gave me a chance to see if I could come out and establish a support system, survive, and maybe — just maybe — do a little thriving. Years later, I feel like I can look back at those first six months to a year that were incredibly lonely and hard, and be stoked on how things turned out.

The second thing that I thought of and still chuckle about today is: Should I get married one day, will I need to invite people to my wedding from my stint on the West Coast? This was a weird barometer to measure success by and I realize how ridiculous it sounds. That said, I hope I have a windfall of cash or whoever I end up marrying is ready to help foot a large bill because the invite list has grown tremendously. Reflecting on my time in the Bay has been fascinating because I realize how many friends for life I’ve made. Friends that will give me a reason to come back and visit. Friends that will hopefully come visit me on the East Coast. Friends that I could call and talk about life with, or my struggles with, and just at the end of the day are good people that you’re proud to have in your life. I leave behind a support system that I never thought I would be able to build so far from home, and that’s one of the hardest things I’ve done in my adult life. For the folks who have come into my life and stayed, and to those who came into my life and then passed through for whatever reason: I cannot thank you enough for helping me feel supported, involved, and loved all of these years. I wouldn’t have made it without you and you enriched my life in ways that I couldn’t imagine as a young 20-something year old.

Now as I mentioned, I’m feeling pretty emotional about up and leaving during COVID. The inability to say goodbye to so many folks in a way that would feel personal and intimate is definitely a bummer. I’d be lying though if I said that’s my only fear. When I tell folks I’m moving home the response is typically one of two options:

1) “That’s awesome! Might as well try it with remote work being an option and see how it goes.”

2) “That’s awesome! You still know people back there and there is a sense of familiarity with family, etc..”

For the most part some combination of those two answers are spot on. This will be great because I’m going to be closer to family, which I’ve found really matters to me above most other things. I’ll also have some familiarity with folks in the area that I’ve stayed in touch with. There’s also the financial aspect where paying pretty much no rent is much better than living in a Top 5 Most Expensive Areas in the US. From getting ahead to finally paying off student loans, paying off my car, and making meaningful strides on owning property — it’s tough to argue against that. Again though, I’d be lying if I feel like things breaks down that easily. I think one of my biggest fears of going back home is “How do I reintegrate to an area and to people that I know, but haven’t been around for almost a decade?” The scary answer here is: You just don’t know. There’s no guarantee that things will be like they were when you left. In fact, I really don’t expect them to be at all. People grow, aspirations change, and everyone is at a different stage of their life. To be honest, that’s a little scary because even though you’re going back home, you could in fact be starting all over again.

All in all though this has run on longer than I expected. Ironically, it feels just like my time here. It felt good to stay and it felt good to write more. From Gameloft to Facebook during my West Coast residency, I have been able to grow both personally and professionally in ways that I never imagined. I am fortunate to be able to keep my job in a time where jobs aren’t guaranteed, all while uprooting myself and going to a different coast. I am fortunate to have people in my life that are cheering me on no matter what time zone I am in. At the end of the day, I’m incredibly fortunate and appreciative of the way things have turned out. Here’s to staying stoked, possibly my final cross-country drive, and to staying in touch with all of the great people I’ve gotten to know out along the way!